could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What a dumb baby whore.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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