I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
