Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
