so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
