Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
