yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
