mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I stole a fireplace last night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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