Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
