no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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