Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize