DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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