I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A+ Viking dick
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize