I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize