Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
