I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
