I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
