in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
