you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
