I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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