i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
