so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
