He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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