There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
