Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
