Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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