Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We named our party play list daddy issues
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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