some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
