People in love make me want to vomit
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
