Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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