We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He shit in the fireplace
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
