You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
