just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
