Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
