her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
