Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
