She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
