matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
