Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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