I seem to have left my pride at pride
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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