dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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