Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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