dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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