My friends, they love my intelligence
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
