I got chris browned last night
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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