Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
