What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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