I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
