That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
