i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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