apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
