Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
