just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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