I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
