there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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