I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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