yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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