Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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