we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize