I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
