you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
As shirtless as possible
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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