If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
