i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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