no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
